Does the Bible Allow Polygamy? Understanding God’s Design for Marriage

A Common Question About Marriage in the Bible

Marriage is one of the most sacred relationships described in Scripture. Many people see figures like Abraham, Jacob, David, and Solomon with multiple wives and wonder: does this mean God approves of polygamy?

In this post, we’ll explore what the Bible truly teaches about marriage and what it means for believers today.

 

1. God’s Original Design: One Man, One Woman

From the beginning, God’s plan for marriage is simple and profound:

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” — Genesis 2:24

Jesus reaffirmed this design:

“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female… the two shall become one flesh?” — Matthew 19:4–5

God intended marriage to be a monogamous, lifelong covenant reflecting unity, faithfulness, and love.

 

2. Polygamy in the Old Testament: Described, Not Commanded

Many Old Testament figures had multiple wives. Abraham, Jacob, David, and Solomon all practiced polygamy. But Scripture does not celebrate these actions.

Common consequences of polygamy in the Bible:

• Rivalry between wives
• Family conflict
• Spiritual compromise

Scripture reports human behavior honestly; it does not mean God endorses polygamy.

 

 3. God’s Law Regulated Polygamy to Protect the Vulnerable

When God gave the Law, He regulated polygamy, assuming it existed. For example:

• Exodus 21:10 – Required care for multiple wives

• Deuteronomy 21:15–17 – Protected inheritance rights

Insight: These laws were harm-reducing, not God’s ideal. His original plan was still monogamy.

 

 

4. The New Testament Reaffirms Monogamy

By Jesus’ time, monogamy was reaffirmed:

• Jesus (Matthew 19:4–6): Refers back to Genesis 2:24

• Paul (1 Corinthians 7:2; Ephesians 5:31–33): Upholds monogamous marriage

• Church leadership (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:6): Leaders must be “the husband of one wife”

The New Testament does not endorse polygamy, confirming that monogamy reflects God’s design.

 

 

5. What “Husband of One Wife” Really Means

Being “the husband of one wife” implies:

1. Monogamy – Not having multiple wives

2. Marital faithfulness – Loving and honoring one’s spouse

3. Spiritual integrity – Modeling moral and relational maturity

It’s both a marital and a character standard, especially for church leaders.

 

6. Practical Application for Today

• God’s design is clear: Marriage = one man + one woman in lifelong covenant

•  For believers: Monogamy and faithfulness reflect God’s ideal and safeguard families 

• Scripture is honest: Polygamy appears in the Bible but it is not God's design, but man's and often brings trouble

Understanding Scripture helps us distinguish between what God allows temporarily and His perfect plan.

 

God’s Ideal for Marriage

The Bible records polygamy, but God’s design has always been monogamous. His standard emphasizes faithfulness, unity, and covenant love, reflecting Christ’s love for the Church.

“Marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s love for His Church — one, faithful, and everlasting.”

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Believing in the Word Who Comes

Genesis 15, John 1, and Romans 5

I’ve started a new Bible reading plan this year. The 1517 plan walks through the entire Bible in a year, pairing readings from both the Old and New Testaments each day. Today’s reading included Genesis 15 and Romans 5, and what a treasure trove it turned out to be for me. What initially felt like two very different passages quickly revealed themselves to be deeply connected.

Genesis 15 opens with a phrase we often pass over too quickly:

“After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision…”

Scripture does not simply say that God spoke. It says that the word of the LORD came. The Word is active. It approaches Abram, enters his fear, and speaks peace.

“Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.”

Abram has wealth, victory, and God’s protection, yet his deepest concern remains unaddressed. He has no heir. His future appears uncertain. Abram speaks honestly before the LORD, and then the text says something remarkable again:

“And behold, the word of the LORD came to him, saying…”

The repetition is intentional. The Word comes once with reassurance, and again with promise. The LORD clarifies that Abram’s heir will come from his own body, then brings him outside and invites him to look toward the heavens. The stars become a living sermon, pointing Abram beyond what he can see to what only God can accomplish.

Only after this repeated encounter do we read:

“And he believed in the LORD, and He accounted it to him for righteousness.” (Gen. 15:6)

Believing in the LORD

Abram’s faith is not described as mere agreement with a statement. He does not simply believe that God’s words are true; he believes in the LORD Himself. The language bears this out. The biblical idea of belief here is not intellectual assent but personal trust—reliance upon the One who has come to him and spoken.

Abram’s righteousness is credited because he entrusts himself to the LORD as He reveals Himself through His Word. His faith is relational before it is doctrinal. It is rooted in encounter.

The Word Revealed—and the Word Made Flesh

John’s Gospel opens by unveiling what Genesis hints at:

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.”

The Word that came to Abram in a vision is the same eternal Word who later came in human flesh. Abram encountered the Word truly, though not yet in the flesh. When Abram believed in the LORD, he believed in God as He made Himself known through His Word.

The object of faith has never changed, only the clarity of the revelation.

From Abram to Romans 5—and to Us

Paul draws directly from this moment when he writes:

“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Rom. 5:1)

Justification results in peace because faith is personal. Abram trusted the LORD who came to him as the Word. We trust the Lord Jesus Christ—the Word made flesh.

Abram stood beneath the stars and believed in the Word who spoke.
We stand beneath the cross and the empty tomb believing in the Word who lived, died, and rose again.

Faith That Still Justifies

Faith has always been the same: trusting the Word who comes.

Abram believed in the LORD, and righteousness was credited to him.
We believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and his righteousness is imparted to us.

The promise spoken in Genesis finds its fulfillment in the incarnation proclaimed in John and explained in Romans. The Word who came still comes, and those who believe in Him are counted righteous.

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Why a Barley Loaf: Rediscovering God in Judges

I’ve read Judges 7 every year for decades. I know the story: Gideon’s fear, his tiny army of 300 men, and the sudden, miraculous victory over the Midianites. Yet this time, something caught my attention in a way it never had before—a barley loaf rolling into the Midianite camp and knocking over a tent.

I found myself pausing and asking: How could God use something so ordinary and small to accomplish such a mighty victory? That simple loaf, humble and almost laughable, suddenly felt full of meaning.

A Humble Symbol in a World of Fear

Barley bread was the food of the poor. It was coarse, cheap, and unremarkable. In a culture where wheat represented prosperity and power, barley was humble. And that’s exactly why God chose it.

In the dream, the barley loaf represents Gideon and his army: ordinary, weak, and vastly outnumbered. Nothing about them suggested they could succeed. In today's vernacular we'd say, "The odds were against them." And yet God delighted in using the smallest, most unlikely instrument to accomplish His purposes.

It reminded me that God’s victories often come through what seems weak, insignificant, or overlooked. He doesn’t need strength, wealth, or status. He only needs faith and willingness to act. The barley loaf is a powerful symbol of God’s ability to overturn the natural order and bring triumph from humility.

 

 

The Loaf That Rolls and Overturns

In the dream, the loaf doesn’t stay small. It rolls forward with unstoppable force and overturns a tent, symbolizing the Midianite army’s strength and security. Even the enemy soldiers recognize God’s hand at work.

God didn’t use a boulder, an earthquake, or anything dramatic. He used a simple loaf of barley. Ordinary becomes extraordinary when God is in it. That’s the lesson that struck me this time: God delights in taking the overlooked and turning it into a vessel of victory.

I couldn’t help but think about all the ways I’ve underestimated myself or been underestimated by others. Like Gideon, I’ve often felt small, ordinary, or insufficient. And yet this story reminds me that God specializes in using exactly that—the ordinary, the weak, the overlooked—to accomplish what seems impossible.

Seeing Myself in the Loaf

At times, I feel like that barley loaf in my own life. Ordinary, overlooked, unsure if I can make a difference. But Scripture reminds me that God doesn’t need me to be impressive. He only needs me to trust Him and take the next step in faith.

This story also reminds me that faith is not about how big or strong we are—it’s about how willing we are to let God work through us. Even our smallest acts of obedience or trust can have a far-reaching impact when God is in control.

 

A Timeless Reminder

After decades of reading this passage, God highlighted one small detail to remind me of something true: His strength shines brightest in weakness, His power works through humility, and His timing is perfect.

The barley loaf shows that God often works through the ordinary to reveal the extraordinary. What looks small in our hands becomes mighty in His. And what seems weak becomes a testimony of His power.

Reflection

Sometimes, the smallest details carry the deepest encouragement—if we are willing to pause and notice them. Today, the barley loaf reminds me: God is already at work, even before the battle begins. The victory doesn’t depend on human strength—it depends on His hand. And when He works, even the weakest and most ordinary among us become instruments of His triumph.

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What Was the “Holy Kiss” in the Bible? Meaning, Purpose, and History Explained

I was recently writing a post for my Wedding Traditions and Meanings blog about the wedding kiss and the New Year’s kiss, and learned historically kisses held many meanings that were not romantic in nature. This brought to mind the biblical phrase “Holy Kiss.” Every time I read that phrase in Scripture, like in Romans 16:16 or 1 Corinthians 16:20, I wondered about it. What did it really mean?

After writing that post, I realized I needed to look into the holy kiss more deeply. And then there’s Judas’ kiss, a betrayal so infamous it’s practically a cautionary tale. But how deep does that betrayal go based on the meaning of the kiss? Could it somehow be connected to the Holy Kiss, or are they completely different in meaning and intent?

That curiosity is the reason for this blog. Over the years, as I’ve studied Scripture and explored the historical context, I’ve discovered that the Holy Kiss was a sacred gesture of love, peace, and unity, while Judas’ kiss shows how the same outward gesture can carry the opposite intent.

  

What the Bible Says About the Holy Kiss

The New Testament mentions the Holy Kiss several times, often in Paul’s letters to the churches:

• Romans 16:16 – “Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.”
• 1 Corinthians 16:20 – “Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
• 2 Corinthians 13:12 – “Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
• 1 Thessalonians 5:26 – “Greet all the brethren with a holy kiss.”
• 1 Peter 5:14 – “Greet one another with a kiss of love.”

When I read these passages, I realized the Holy Kiss wasn’t a one-off custom. It was a recurring practice in the early Church. But why did early Christians do this, and what did it signify?

But before I get into the meaning and purpose of the Holy Kiss let's answer another question. Was the kiss on the lips or the cheek? 

Was the Holy Kiss on the Lips or Cheek?

The Bible doesn’t specify exactly where the Holy Kiss was placed. Scholars believe it was usually on the cheek among believers, though in close, private settings, a kiss on the lips may have occurred. The key point is that it was a sacred, spiritual greeting, not romantic. It was meant to show love, unity, and fellowship. 

The Meaning and Purpose of the Holy Kiss

From my study, I see that the Holy Kiss had several important spiritual purposes:

1. A Sign of Love and Fellowship

The Holy Kiss was a tangible way for believers to express genuine love and care for one another. I imagine it like a spiritual hug—a small gesture carrying a big message.

2. A Symbol of Peace

In a culture where greetings often involved a kiss, the word “holy” elevated it to a sacred act. It was a way to say, “I see you, I respect you, and we are one in Christ.”

3. A Reminder of Community and Equality

Everyone in the church—rich, poor, slave, free, shared the same gesture. I love that sense of humility and equality, a reminder that we’re all brothers and sisters in Christ.

Cultural Context: Kissing in the Ancient World

Kissing was a common form of greeting in the Mediterranean world. Families, friends, and even political allies often kissed to show respect or goodwill. What fascinated me is how the early Church transformed a common social gesture into a sacred, spiritual act.

Understanding the Difference: The Holy Kiss vs. Judas’ Kiss

When I first read about the Holy Kiss, I couldn’t help but think of Judas’ infamous kiss. On the surface, both involve a kiss, but the meaning behind them is worlds apart. Let's bring it into focus:

1. Intent

• Holy Kiss: Expressed love, peace, and unity among believers.
• Judas’ Kiss: A deliberate act of betrayal and deceit.

2. Audience

• Holy Kiss: Shared with fellow believers in the church.
• Judas’ Kiss: Used to identify Jesus to the soldiers who came to arrest Him.

3. Symbolism

• Holy Kiss: A visible expression of spiritual fellowship and community.
• Judas’ Kiss: A symbol of treachery and the contrast between outward appearance and inner intent.

4. Heart Behind the Gesture

• Holy Kiss: Came from genuine love and humility.
• Judas’ Kiss: Came from deceit and personal gain.

This helped me see it wasn’t the gesture itself that mattered. It was the heart behind it. One is a sacred, unifying act; the other, a betrayal that changed the course of history.

Is the Holy Kiss Practiced Today?

You might wonder if the Holy Kiss is still practiced. In most churches today, it’s not common, but the spirit of the practice lives on. Handshakes, hugs, or even verbal greetings like “Peace be with you” can express the same love, unity, and fellowship that the Holy Kiss once did.

Not Just a Quaint Custom It Was a Sacred Expression

Learning about the Holy Kiss has helped me understand this custom. It wasn’t romantic, and it certainly wasn’t just a quaint custom, it was a sacred expression of love, peace, and unity. Contrasting it with Judas’ betrayal shows how the same outward gesture can carry dramatically different meaning depending on the heart behind it.

For me, the takeaway is clear: whether through a hug, handshake, or heartfelt greeting, let’s greet one another with love, peace, and genuine fellowship, just as the early Church did.

The Connection Between Numbers 4:1 and Galatians 6:2-5

The connection between Numbers 4:19 and Galatians 6:2-5 offers rich insight into the balance of shared responsibility and personal accountability in both Old and New Testament teachings.

Individual and Shared Responsibility

In Numbers 4:19, we see that the Levites were appointed to specific roles and responsibilities in serving the tabernacle. Their duties were essential to the proper functioning of the spiritual community. The service and tasks of the Levites, such as carrying the Ark of the Covenant and other sacred objects, were carefully designated by God to maintain order and reverence for His presence. The idea that each individual had a role to play is emphasized, and this division of labor highlights the importance of teamwork and collective responsibility in the service of God.

 

Bearing Burdens and Spiritual Support

Similarly, Galatians 6:2-5 speaks about the spiritual responsibilities of Christians within the body of Christ. Paul urges believers to "bear one another’s burdens," emphasizing the importance of supporting each other when someone is overwhelmed, unable to carry their burdens alone. This "burden" refers to something that exceeds personal capacity, akin to the larger, more significant tasks the Levites carried, which could not be done without help. Paul stresses that fulfilling the "law of Christ" — to love and care for one another — requires shared responsibility, much like the communal aspect of the Levites' duties.

However, in verse 5, Paul introduces the idea that each person must also "bear his own load." This term refers to a smaller, personal responsibility, comparable to a soldier carrying his own backpack. It’s not something that requires outside help but rather a manageable load that individuals are expected to handle themselves. This distinction between a “burden” and a “load” in Galatians helps clarify that while mutual support is crucial, personal responsibility is also vital. Just as the Levites had to perform their specific duties without interference from others in matters concerning the tabernacle, Christians are called to carry their personal burdens but are not to expect others to bear what they can manage themselves.

In both Numbers 4 and Galatians 6, there is an emphasis on the necessity of contribution from each individual. In the Old Testament, it was about fulfilling God's appointed tasks, and in the New Testament, it's about supporting one another in spiritual growth. The key takeaway is the importance of balance: shared burdens are for larger, more overwhelming struggles, while personal responsibility is for those tasks that fall within an individual's capacity to manage.

Thus, Numbers 4:19 and Galatians 6:2-5 both underscore the idea that the work of God, whether physical or spiritual, is a shared endeavor, with each person contributing according to their ability, while also recognizing when to seek help and when to stand on their own.